By G.R. Nanda
“Birthing ceremony,” thought Nickel, pondering over its meaning. “Birthing………………..ceremony.” If he could figure out that one phrase, he might be able to parse through all of the other phrases and their conjoining sentences that had just bombarded him.
“Birthing,” he whispered. His head lolled to the right and his eyes glazed over. “………………ceremo-.” He was jostled by the tall curly haired boy who brushed past him, unaware of Nickel as he whispered excitedly to another boy. They were both among the many people exiting the hut. They were all a mixed concoction of moods and expressions: happy, overwhelmed, disgruntled, ecstatic and furious.
Li stood at the opposite wall from Nickel, shouting orders.
“Okay! Layla, Karful, Ji– all of you guys, outside at the smelting station in less than five minutes!” he pointed through the crowd and tapped the stout boy who had spoken out loud earlier. Once he got his attention, Li slapped three clustered boys behind him. “You four, it’s your turn to hunt with ole’ man.” The stout boy and two of the boys behind him grinned. Another boy’s head sank, looking dejected.
Li continued shouting orders at people who exited the hut.
When the mass of walking people had nearly all left, Li shouted at the people who stayed put.
“Stay here for a while! Only a while! We’ll be out on the forefront dealing with the evening’s hawk hunt. Today’s a fling cutter fry-.”
“Ooooooh!” exclaimed a lanky boy standing at the back of the room, interrupting Li. He patted his small stomach. “I like that.”
“Shut up, Liver,” said Li. “Your appetite won’t waste our time. Another word about what tastes good and I’ll have to stick you outside of the huts cold on no plates for a month.”
The boy, Liver slouched into himself, looking downtrodden. Two taller boys standing to the left of him smirked, eyed each other and snickered. A third squat boy sitting down to the left of the laughing boys looked up at them and snickered too.
“Yeah, Li!” said the boy right next to Liver. “Stick im’ cold!”
“Do it!”growled the skinny boy next to him in a voice that was higher and rougher. “Stick Liver cold!”
Li ignored the two of them.
“You two,” said Li, snapping his fingers on his right hand and pointing at Nickel and Farrul. “You’re up with them. They’re gonna fry up the hawk and stick em’ in the spindles.”
Nickel opened his mouth.
“I-,” he started. “I- uh- I.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Ah, but that doesn’t matter,” said Li, shaking his head. “You better watch and learn with them.”
“If I can’t be hard on you, that won’t matter,” growled Li. “Because our world will be hard on you on its own.”
Li sneered at Nickel.
“Welcome to the land of the Hawk.”
With that, he swung the door and upon stepping over onto foggy ground, slammed it shut. He could still be heard barking orders on the outside.
Nickel looked up at the ceiling, eyes glazed and mouth ajar. He sighed and emitted a soft moan at the end. Just when he thought he could control things. Set him, Farrul and Steve on a path together. Just like that, he was now forced to work for people he hardly knew outside in the oppressive fog of the Atlantic.
Words spoken to him rang in his head.
From Elder Hawk.
“If you want to soar, you have to open yourself first.”
From the singing sorceress.
“You cannot control your destiny.”
“You cannot control your fate!”
From Mom in dreamworld.
“You have to grow up to be a man and if you haven’t already started, you need to start NOW!”
What was going to happen now? He knew he needed strength to get through his ordeals, but how was he going to go about facing his ordeals? He was being told to plan for a journey to Hedonim, but he was also being told to focus on the drudgery of hard labor that awaited him, Farrul and the rest of the boys here.
Upon that thought, he looked around and saw that all who were left in the hut were adolescent boys. It was him and Farrul on one side of the room, a pack of interspersed boys staring suspiciously from the opposite side and silence to fill in the gap.
Who would break the silence?
“You wanna know why we call him Liver?” asked the boy right next to Liver, leering at Nickel across the room. The boy called Liver sulked again.
Nickel didn’t respond.
“Why?” said Farrul, getting up with a hunched back and leaning against the side wall closest to Nickel. Farrul didn’t look at anyone; instead he stared directly at his lap.
“It’s because he’s useless!” said the boy who’d broken the silence. He spoke with haughty amusement which bubbled up in his high voice. He grinned even wider and laughed. His teeth were yellow and crooked. There were at least two dark gaps in the two rows where teeth were missing. “Like a liver!” The skinny boy to the right of the gap-toothed kid chortled alongside him. The seated squat boy to the right of him snickered, the strands of his shaggy mop of dark hair bobbing up and down.
“We started calling him that a month ago,” said the skinny boy.
Liver balled his fists and inched away to the right from the skinny boy and the gap-toothed kid.
“What?” sneered gap-teeth at Liver. “That’s what you are, aren’ you?”
Liver tightened his mouth and frowned. He gave an exasperated sigh.
“Sh-sh– shut up,” he finally said.
“Sh-sh-sh-shu-shu-shut up!” crooned gap-teeth, in a high pitched voice. The three boys laughed loudly.
“He’s a useless Liver,” said the skinny boy, looking in Farrul and Nickel’s direction. “We started calling him that because he got sick and he wouldn’t come out to work with us for so long. When he did, he was useless because he was always sitting out, coughing. And all it took for the name to stick was for Li to pick it up and call him that. “Li’s not a cocksucker like some other people here. We know some people are sucking you dry because you’re ‘Hedonim explorers’” Hhe piped the phrase in a higher pitched voice for mock courtesy. Then his face grew hard. “But we don’t care. We don’t think you’re that hot.”
“I was the one who came up with it by the way,” said gap-teeth, grinning widely. “The name, Liver. So watch out. If you mess with me I might give you a name like that.”
“They’re right about not powering through, but they’re the only ones who call him Liver,’ said a tall boy leaning far away against the wall adjacent to the laughing boys. “It’s not even that funny. We just called him useless.” He nodded at the opposite wall, away from any particular person and said, “much better name. And, he’s not useless anymore. He’s done better.”
“Ah, shut up!” said the skinny boy in a wheezing voice. “Why you sucking off Liver of all people?”
Gap-teeth faced Nickel and Farrul’s direction.
“Just for you Past Worlders’ information, Gablin’s our nice guy, which just means he’s a cocksucker. No one else here in this hut’s gonna suck your cock, being nice to you– definitely not me. But if you ever need someone to suck you dry, there’s Gablin over there,” he said, pointing at him with the thumb on his left hand.
Gablin stared straight ahead with dull eyes, showing a meek annoyance. All he did was roll his eyes.
The three boys laughed to themselves.
Pricks.
That’s what they were. Nickel had known these types. He’d encountered cronies like these time and time again in his past life as a school boy. They were like flies.
Clustering together and swarming around you noisily. Buzz.
Buzz………..Buzz-Buzz-Buzz.
Meaningless, annoying noise.
Nickel felt his face flush with heat. He balled his fists, clenching tightly. His dirty fingernails having not been cut for days since encountering the Desolate Plains dug into his palms, sharply piercing his grime-caked skin.
It wasn’t fair. He didn’t ask to get stuck here with these people. Any of them. Just when he thought he was starting to get along with Farrul, he was stuck with three people he was sure he would come to hate.
“What’s his real name?” blurted Nickel.
The three boys quieted in their laughter.
Nickel’s face grew hotter, but his chest cooled down. He wondered if he should have spoken, but the words already left his mouth. He had launched an atomic rocket. He didn’t know where the propulsion would take him on the trajectory. For Nickel, there was no stopping or emergency landing.
“What?” the gap-toothed kid asked in derision.
“You call him Liver, but what’s his real name?” Nickel asked, keeping his lips constricted in a tight circle before folding them into his mouth. Many of the boys in the room, including Farrul, turned to look at Nickel questioningly. Their faces were expectant and waiting, presumably to see what Nickel was trying to do– what he was trying to get at.
Farrul stared at Nickel with a half-open mouth and half closed eyes. His uncomfortable expression made him look like he was queasy. Without speaking, he seemed to be asking, “what are you doing?”
Nickel moved his tongue to respond, but he said nothing.
He felt oddly shaky.
The gap-toothed kid widened his eyes and laughed, looking at Nickel.
“Do you- feel……………bad for Liver?”
Nickel stared back at him with a cold frowning face.
“What’s your name?” asked the squat boy. “Rickel?”
Nickel still didn’t respond.
“Hey, Gablin,” said the gap-toothed boy. He looked towards Gablin who didn’t look back, only staring forward. “You got company. Guess you won’t be the only cock sucker here after all.”
“Who the hell do you think you are?” said Nickel, speaking louder than before. The people in the room became more alert, opening their eyes wider. Most of them raised their heads, looking at Nickel. Some turned to look at the three boys to see how they would respond.
“With your mouth going off so much,” continued Nickel, “calling people names, deciding how good everyone is to you. What gives you the judgment for that?”
The three cronies scoffed.
“Why don’t you just come over here and give Liver a reach around?” said the skinny boy, raising his right arm and pointing a thumb at Nickel.
“I’m sure he would like that very much,” he added.
Nickel’s chest flared with tightening anger. His nails dug deeper into his palm.
“You’re ignoring what I said,” said Nickel. “You guys should just shut the glibb up.”
“Because you’re no better than anyone else here.”
“Or cooler,” Nickel added.
“And you’re no better than anyone else here!” exclaimed the gap-toothed kid.
“You should go back to the Past World so we don’t have to listen to you lecture us!”
“Yeah!” said the skinny boy. “Why should we listen to you? What would you know about what we should do with all your fancy tech?”
“You’re not Great Father Hawk!” said the squat boy, quieter than his two cronies, but still loud enough that anger bubbled in his voice.
Nickel gritted his teeth together and then bared them in a grimacing scowl.
Farrul looked at him and gently shook his head. He put his left hand to his neck and holding his fingers straight together, made a cutting motion.
Nickel ignored him and kept on talking.
“You’ve no idea what I’ve been through,” he said. “And after all of it, I’m not about to let some morons like you give me crap.”
“Why you lecturing us?” growled the skinny boy. The three boys sneered at Nickel.
“You’re not paying attention to what I’m saying,” said Nickel. “I’m just saying you should mind your own business because I’m not going to stand for you messing with me.”
“ -Or anyone else here,” added Nickel.
The gap-toothed kid laughed.
“You messed with me. So I’m going to mess with you.”
Nickel was on the verge of retorting when the door behind him burst open.
Everyone faced a woman standing in the entranceway, looking glum.
She didn’t say anything for a while and scanned the room with her eyes as if she were trying to parse out what had been the commotion inside of the hut.
“Your turn for a cutter fry,” she finally said and closed the door. Her footsteps were heard outside.
The boys all stood up and trudged out of the hut. Nickel stood close to Farrul.
The gang of three boys left the hut together, muttering amongst themselves and eyeing Nickel every now and then.
Nickel still felt flustered. He was angry and insecure amongst this group he now had to work with.
Li moved towards Nickel and without looking at him, he spoke.
“This is my fight,” he said. “Leave it to me. It’s not about you.” Once he’d spoken, he continued brushing past Nickel and moved out the door. He started to close it, then another boy caught it and followed by three other boys, the hut was emptied except for Nickel and Farrul.
Nickel was taken aback by what Liver said. Confusion mixed into the anger he felt, creating a bubbling concoction of emotion.
Farrul started to move to the door.
“Farrul?” said Nickel.
Farrul paused in front of the door and without turning around, growled one word.
“What?”
Nickel didn’t speak immediately, unnerved by Farrul’s growl.
“Did I go too far?”
“Yup.”
Nickel sighed.
“But they’re assholes!”
Farrul shook his head, but still didn’t turn around.
“Look, I don’t like them either, but we’re new here and now you’ve made us stand out even more. I’ve already told you– and you’re stupid if you can’t see this– the people here are not all friendly with us outsiders. It’s about whether you want to survive or not. I guess you don’t. Or you care about being a white knight more than surviving.”
“White knight?” Nickel scoffed. “They-are-assholes!” They’re saying stuff about us too! What- I’m just supposed to stand for what they say to us?”
“Look, they’re assholes alright, but you were pushing it too much. Now you made us stand out even more. Thanks for screwing us. But you’re the one who opened your mouth, so you’re more screwed than I am.”
With that, Farrul exited the hut, leaving Nickel feeling conflicted, stressed and downright blue.
“Hedonim explorers,” he remembered the skinny boy saying. As if he already didn’t have a marker on him for being a newcomer to the tribe, he had another one for a special role.
Was it special? Nickel had no clue. No matter who answered what for that question, Nickel felt like he was bound to be despised for the role.
How was he going to get through all of this?
The same woman opened the door and shouted at Nickel.
“Come on! Let’s go! We wait for no one! There’s work to do!”
Feeling terrible and as a sinking sensation occurred in his chest, Nickel lowered his head and shoulders, hurrying out the door.
G.R. Nanda 