By G.R. Nanda
“Were-you-there?” quavered Nickel. “With me?” Slowly, his body slowed down and the heat subsided, leaving only cool sweat trickling down his skin.
Elder Hawk shook her head.
“Not with you. I only appeared at the beginning and then I appeared once at the end. But I saw your dream. I was peering in from the outside.”
“How did you do that?” asked Nickel. He felt like there was so much about the workings of the acht-chi and the Atlantic Tribe that he didn’t know about or worse– that he was left in the dark about.
“I have much experience travelling in the dreamscape. It’s a place I have spent much time in. As Elder Hawk, there’s not much moving that I can do in our territory. I move the most in the dreamscape in musing with Great Father Hawk and his instruments of fate.”
“Three times, throughout your dream, I had to deal with the puzzles of another place in the dreamscape. I even spoke to the entity known as the sorceress.”
“You did?” exclaimed Nickel.
“Yes. I did.”
“Well, what did she say to you?” he asked.
“That, I cannot say,” said Elder Hawk. “I can only tell you what I deduced from what she told me.”
“But-,” started Nickel. He sighed in defeat. “So…………what’s going to happen………now?” He felt like he’d been asking this question over and over again since the Eagle crashed onto the Atlantic Tribe’s site.
“Your initiation rite is complete,” said Elder Hawk. “You partook in my tribe’s main mode of movement and action: the acht-chi. You completed your first meditation with me. Meditation will be how I can bring Great Father Hawk to speak with you.”
“Now, a course has been decided for you. There is not anything I can do about it, no matter how I feel about the parts of this course. You came into my world abruptly and I’m afraid you must leave abruptly as well. You have business to finish in the Past World and you must finish it.”
“W-w-what are you talking about?” stammered Nickel. What did she know about his life outside? “What business are you talking about” Although he didn’t mean to, he spoke rashly and with a lot of venom. He was scowling and his face quickly melted into an expression of meek discomfort.
Elder Hawk slowly smiled.
“Do not fear, Nickel. Do not make haste with your anger and panic.”
Nickel scoffed.
“Your anger points to your fear,” she crooned. “What do you fear, Nickel?”
Nickel felt a sinking weight in his chest. It was a feeling that he was familiar with on board the American Eagle when he was all alone.
“I-I-,” Nickel stammered and sighed again. He opened his mouth to speak and firmly clamped it shut. He stared into his lap while his chest hunched over. “I don’t know!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know!” he exclaimed. He shook his head. “I-I guess I’m afraid of going back to my country. I came from America, you see. I was born there. There are problems there. On the ground. That’s why there are so many people like me flying up in the sky. But, anyways, I was one of the luckier people. On the ground, I mean. My family was in league with the government. My dad had a job as a scientist for the government. My mom was a federal accountant. I was really protected when I was a little kid. Too much, maybe. But outside was hell. Violence, corruption, disease– you name it. My mom figured keeping me inside of our little penthouse was the best thing to do. I was kind of cooped up in there, but pretty much everything my dad and mom worked for with the government was going to this little secure area. Growing up, there was pressure to do something big or important. My parents really wanted me to turn out really smart and useful so the government would pay attention to me and treat me well even though it treated most of the people on the ground horribly.”
“So when I was 12, I got sent to the military base where my dad worked. My parents wanted some kind of genius. They would have been okay with a supersoldier, but my mom, who was the one with a say in all of this, didn’t want me to be sent off and possibly killed. I was neither a genius nor a supersoldier, but I held my own for a while. I actually did really well at the academic school at first. Best in my classes and everything. But I eventually cracked under the pressure. I came to hate the place and I didn’t get much of a chance to turn things around.” Nickel’s voice broke.
“Base got raided and I’ve been stuck since. On a hovercraft. That’s what I escaped on, but I’ve been stuck on a hovercraft for a really long time.” He chuckled.
“Weirdly, enough, if I didn’t get stuck in a windstorm, I still wouldn’t have been so lucky all alone on a hovercraft. The loneliness could have killed me. I was stretched pretty thin. My resources were gonna run out eventually. I don’t know if I would have gone where I needed to go. So frankly, I don’t know which version of the story would have been worse. If my hovercraft didn’t get dragged into a windstorm or if it did.” He was silent for a while.
“Huh,” was all he could finally note.
His head leaned ever closer to his lap. His back was slouching at this point.
“You’re growing up,” said Elder Hawk. “And you’re starting to see how confusing and messed up the world is. You could hide. Or you could try to confront and navigate it no matter how hard that is. Besides, you’ve made a promise, haven’t you?”
Nickel’s face dimmed. His eyelids moved in and he gave a small scowl. He felt like his insides had turned to ice.
“How do you know-,” he began, “-she told you didn’t she? The sorceress.”
“Nickel,” said Elder Hawk, slowly and tentatively “I know. I wasn’t told. She showed me. In order for the initiation rite to be completed, I needed to know where you were coming from and where you would be going. Surely, you can see that the two are related?”
“You must understand that we’ve made two initiation rites one. Normally, a member of our tribe would undergo rite at their birth for the adults to project their path. Then, at your age, that member would go through a second rite to see why they were headed that way.
“So, extra divinations and interactions needed to be taken by me.”
Nickel put his head in his lap.
“Yes, I made a promise,” said Nickel. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”
“How come?” said Elder Hawk.
“Because,” said Nickel, “because-because-because I don’t want to talk about it. It’s hard and it brings back stuff that I try not to think about.”
“Straighten yourself,” said Elder Hawk.
“Huh?” said Nickel.
“Why is your head in your lap?”
“Because………it hurts,” said Nickel.
“Your head?”
“No, no. The world. I dunno. Life. I just- I want to………….”
“You want to hide?”
“Yeah!” said Nickel. He moved his palms away from his face.
‘Is that going to get you where you need to go?”
Nickel said nothing.
“They way you’re holding your chest and your head does not show that you want to confront what needs to be confronted.”
“Try this: hold your head high and sit with your back straight, your chest open.”
Nickel didn’t move. His forehead rested on his palm. He finally sighed and did as he was told. He scooted his butt against the basin and straightened his back. He held his head high, looking forward while he frowned. He rolled his shoulders and puffed out his chest. He inhaled deeply. His uncertain eyes met Elder Hawk’s after having shied away for so long.
“Don’t you feel better?” asked Elder Hawk.
“Actually, yeah, I do,” said Nickel.
“It’s more comfortable than slouching,” said Elder Hawk.
“What would happen if a hawk turned its body down when it wanted to fly or if it was in mid-flight?” she asked.
“It would- fall,” said Nickel.
“That’s right. It soars by opening its wings and body to the winds. If you want to soar, you have to first open yourself.”
“Alright,” said Nickel. He nodded. “Yeah- that makes sense.”
“So, why don’t you tell me your promise with your father?”
“I promised that I would return to the United States of America to acquire my parent’s property and wealth in Sector 23 of the Federal Building Estate, use it to set myself up, make sure it wasn’t squatted by corporations and give any extra stuff to good causes if I could.”
“So, your parents wanted you to acquire their material for your own use instead of someone else’s.”
“Yeah, and it’s all laid out too. My parents put up guidelines that restrict me from going crazy with the money or area space, at least until I’m older. There’s an identification procedure that’s suited just for me. All I pretty much have to do is show up.”
“It was supposed to be activated three months after I fled the military aerial base my dad worked at. It’s been five months since I fled the aerial base.”
“What stopped you from going?” asked Elder Hawk.
“I’m scared honestly. Settling down is too scary. Especially after the base was raided. I hated that place. I hated to see it go up like that. If I settle down there, I’ll have to go to school. I’ll have to face people. I know there are people on the ground who hate my guts because I have it so easy. Because of all the tech I have. There’s just too much to figure out, so I figured I’ll just fly around in the sky like the rest of the people above. There’s just too much to figure out, so I figured I’ll just fly around in the sky. Above everything. Above all the suffering, you know.”
“That is not something you can avoid,” said Elder Hawk. “You cannot avoid suffering. I suffer. The rest of my tribe suffers. However, there is also suffering in hiding and festering in the fear of our woes instead of confronting our woes. Sometimes more. What good is the hawk if it never leaves its nest? You said yourself, you didn’t know which version of your story would have been worse. There is suffering either way.”
“Suffering cannot be avoided,” said Elder Hawk. “Open yourself. You have vision. You’ve seen Hedonim and you know that Hedonim will get you and your friends to a homeland where you can join the culture you hailed from, the friends and family you hailed from and make sure that the work and material of your parents is used for nothing but good. You can add to your vision: ‘use the work and material of my parents to better myself and the people around me.’ A vision gives us purpose and direction in life. Mine is to direct my tribe towards betterment and the way of Great Father Hawk. You don’t need to reach for the larger ideals yet. You have to help yourself before you worry about the world. But, to help yourself, you must move in the direction of what matters to you.”
Different people have different things that matter to them. But their ideals overlap. Their goals intertwine. You will find young people in my tribe who are idealistic, brave and strong. Some of their own goals and visions overlap with yours, especially concerning a path through these plains and the canyons to Hedonim.”
Nickel frowned and suddenly, his eyes lit up.
“You’re talking about those two girls who defended me from the soldiers!”
Elder Hawk smiled gently and nodded slightly.
“I can do nothing about the ideas brewing in my tribe about travelling to Hedonim. I can only offer my best judgement before allowing a hearty and prepared course of action.”
“But who are those girls?” Nickel asked eagerly.
“I do not know,” said Elder Hawk. “The divination and mysticism of the acht-chi only provides a template. The roles might be prophesied, but it is us who have to try and fill them. We have to find out how to fill them.”
“Well, the dreamscape shows us something new each time, right?” said Nickel.
“Not necessarily,” said Elder Hawk. “The dreamscape will give us visions to propel us into action. As long as we are moving along a course of action and using the acht-chi to take courses of action, the dreamscape will add details to the picture of our vision. If we stop moving, we stop seeing new things in dreamscape.”
Nickel suddenly remembered something Steve had told him after they had the acht-chi together. A freezing apprehension and fear washed over him.
“How old are you?” he blurted.
Elder Hawk once again tilted her head and gave a small, wry smile the way she did when she was inquisitorial about something Nickel had said.
“I mean-,” Nickel started, feeling on the spot and embarrassed by how blunt he was. “Your tribe- how long do you live? Aren’t you hurt by the acht-chi? Steve, Farrul and I were knocked out for a really long time after the first time I did it. Steve had been doing it the longest and he was awful after.”
“My forebears did no better than your Steve. Like I said before, many people died early. Although the number has been decreased, many in my tribe continue to die early. We developed an intense regimen for engaging in the acht-chi. Anyone who stepped out of that discipline with the acht-chi would certainly face terrible pain. Our science-gurus and scribes will tell you that generations of the Atlantic Tribe adapted at a much faster rate than was expected of most humans. Repeated engagement with the acht-chi killed my ancestors, but it gave greater strength to their kin. With generational improvements in physical design, experience and practice, the Atlantic Tribe grew stronger and more powerful.”
Nickel understood what she was talking about. She was talking about evolution and natural selection occurring at a speed he had never known to be possible. A chill ran through this flesh, raising his hairs and producing goosebumps on his skin.
“It was divined early on that Great Father Hawk favored patience, discipline and hard work. It was time that proved that divination true.”
Elder Hawk’s eyes opened wide. She peered serenely at Nickel, leaning forward and quietly grunting as she placed her palms on her knees and pushed forward.
“For now, the Atlantic Tribe is powerful!” she boomed loudly, causing Nickel to flinch in surprise. “And Great Father Hawk- IS THE MOST POWERFUL OF US ALL!”
G.R. Nanda 