By G.R. Nanda
Nickel leaned against the altar in silence while Elder hawk slept. He stayed like this for a long time. The edge of his shirt soaked up water from the basin. When Elder Hawk awoke, she sat in silence alongside Nickel, waiting for the next windstorm to begin. She soon stood up and rummaged through a cabinet. She pulled out vials and a stone jug. Nickel sat back down against the basin to prevent any further drenching of his shirt. Elder Hawk dipped her fingers into the bottle, smudging her fingers with a mass of orange powder that trailed down. She pressed the fingers of her right hand onto her forehead, marking it with two streaks of powder; one long on top, and one shorter below it.
“What is that?” said Nickel. “Where did you get that powder from?”
“It comes from the earth,” said Elder Hawk. “It’s color is tinted by the worldly gas.” She walked over to Nickel and, kneeling down, she rubbed powder on his forehead. Her fingers were cold and the powder she smeared on his skin was flaky.
She wiped her fingers on her robes. Nickel now saw countless other smudges on her clothing, except they were stained dark from time presumably.
Elder Hawk walked around Nickel and pulled up her sleeves and reached into the water of the basin. Water lapped on the surface and spilled over the edges of the basin, some of it touching Nickel. There was a soft grating sound from below followed by the gurgling of water filling empty space. When Elder Hawk pulled out her hands, she was clutching wet green leaves dripping alongside her arms.
“How are they green?” thought Nickel. How could any plant life grow here?
“Take two and eat,” said Elder Hawk. She raised her arms and her cupped hands towards Nickel.
“What will it do?’ asked Nickel.
“It will give you the sustenance to stay awake longer during the acht-chi,” said Elder Hawk. “It is what is required of you in the initiation rite. It takes longer than what the acht-chi normally allows for. Eat these leaves and follow me closely. We must act quickly enough to prevent time from running out. The body is ripe for the rite only when it’s in a careful balance.”
Feeling that there was nowhere else to go, Nickel took two wet leaves from Elder Hawk’s dripping hands. He held both of them by their thin stems and pointing an open mouth upwards, he slowly dipped them into his mouth. He waited to see the effects of the contact. The leaves poked his lips, his teeth, the roof of his mouth and finally landed on his tongue. They were moist, papery and a little sour, but they did not burn or sting his tongue. He finally chewed, mashing up the leaves and swallowed. When every torn up bit had been consumed, Nickel did not notice any apparent change.
Elder Hawk bored her eyes into Nickel’s.
“Breathe deeply and relax,” she said. “We must both begin at an equilibrium in order to sync at the onset of acht-chi.” Nickel inhaled quickly and opened his mouth in a tight circle, releasing air sharply. “Slower. Do it with me. Follow me and inhale on three. Ready? One……Two……Three.”
The two of them sat still, breathing deeply and slowly, one following the other in repetition.
“Notice the cold air coming into your nostrils and the warm air leaving through your nostrils. Focus on that. Your body’s exchange with the worldly gas will be all that matters in the acht-chi. If you focus on that, you will leave the world of thought and enter the world of your body and the worldly gas. Just notice the exchange. If you get lost in your emotion, you will probably get lost in the worldly gas.”
The worldly gas outside started raging again. Twenty or so minutes of calm in the air was over.
Nickel felt the cold and abrasive touch of Elder Hawk’s finger at his elbow. He opened his eyes which had closed in his breathing meditation.
“Breathe!” said Elder Hawk. “Walk slowly with me and follow my movements.” They walked slowly, Elder Hawk placing her feet in front of Nickel at intervals of a few seconds. While she gripped his elbow, Nickel followed from behind. When they got to the door, Elder Hawk grunted and kicked open the door.
Elder Hawk’s jerking movement and the blast of the dark windy air jolted Nickel out of his confident trance of movement. He gasped. He suddenly felt uncertain. His legs wobbled against the old and forceful wind.
Elder Hawk straightened her hunched back and looked forward. She tightened her grip on Nickel’s elbow.
“Do not let doubt stop you!” she rasped. Her voice was bold, but strained.
Nickel was still disoriented. He felt like he was going to tumble backwards. He no longer felt centered by steady breath. His breath was caught up in his throat and his heart pounded.
“I don’t know if I can do this!” he whimpered. “I’ve only done this once before!”
“You must master your own mind!” said Elder Hawk. “Choose what thoughts- what voices you listen to in your head! Somewhere in there is the voice of Great Father Hawk calling on you to foray into the worldly gas just as the hawks of the Desolate Plains do everyday!”
Nickel gritted his teeth.
“What have I come all this way for?” he thought. He inhaled sharply.
“Do you trust my way?” asked Elder Hawk, still looking forward. “You said you wanted to learn my ways. Do you trust my ways?”
“Yes!” said Nickel. “I do!” He leaned forward and planted his right foot forward next to Elder Hawk. He inhaled deeply, feeling he must muster as much energy as he could to continue forward. He gulped as his open mouth was blasted by the wind. He groaned and clamped his mouth shut. He could no longer hear the faint crackle of torches from inside the hut.
“YES!” screamed Nickel. “I want to learn the way of the hawk! I want to feel stronger- I want to explore a new domain of spiritu-.”
“Then shut up and do it!” said Elder Hawk. “Follow me! Follow my ACTIONS!” She squeezed Nickel’s elbow harder.
Amidst darkness, glowy figures of tribespeople marched on under the torches they carried, appearing and disappearing as quickly as they appeared in Nickel’s line of sight, being swept away by the density of darkness and fog.
“Tighten your body!” said Elder Hawk. “Contract your muscles and BREATHE the Worldly Gas! BREATHE in its spirits.”
Nickel bent his knees like Elder Hawk. He held his chest and head upright and held his arms out diametrically: his right forward and his left backwards. All the while, his fingers were held together and pointing parallel to each other from his body, just like Elder Hawk.
“Breathe and move!” said Elder Hawk as she started to move her left leg forward, bringing Nickel’s elbow along with her. Nickel quickly followed, placing his right leg forward.
Elder Hawk loosened her grip on Nickel’s elbow.
“You know how to move amidst a windstorm now,” she said. Elder Hawk moved in a direction and Nickel followed. They stayed relatively parallel to each other’s bodies. “I’ll make an addition to your initiation rite: a tour.”
They walked across the main square of the East Wing, where Elder Hawk’s hut was. People treated Elder Hawk with a quiet reverence. Packs of people marched by under torchlight, slowly and heavily.
Their faces glistened with sweat and their eyes were huge with fervor and concentration. Short grunts or yells were used to change direction or tell oncoming tribespeople to get out of the way.
However, when they neared Elder Hawk and Nickel enough to recognize Elder Hawk, they softened their eyes and averted their faces in a way that appeared like they were bowing.
“Elder Hawk,” many of them muttered when they saw her. When Elder Hawk had to get Nickel through, many packs stood still, sometimes holding their large crates while they were in the crouched positions of the acht-chi. Once Elder Hawk and Nickel had passed, they resumed grunting and crunching the earth with the steady pattern of their marching feet.
Elder Hawk showed Nickel the nursery, a large circular hut much like her own. It was across the end of the East Wing on the opposite end of Elder Hawk’s hut. The body was made of dried earth and rock materials that were orange in the light of torches hung on its walls. It was capped by a stringy roof of strips of fabric. The wails of infants came from inside.
They went to the right side of the East Wing, which was lined with courtship unit huts where couples slept and congregated.
Nickel’s head was buzzing. Electricity coursed through his veins, propelling his limbs through the forceful wind. His eyes were wide open, unaffected by the blast of the wind.
They traveled together to an intersection at the middle of the plaza, passing the watchkeepers who crept to and fro and looked up and down over the settlement, much like the people Nickel had seen lurking in the darkness when he had left the Eagle with Steve and Farrul.
Past the intersection ahead of the courtship huts were more structures interspersed throughout the darkness. Along with the structures were torches interspersed up along the winding and jagged buildings, becoming fewer and fewer in number the further away they were from Nickel and Elder Hawk.
They stood looking at the fiery spots of illuminated fog standing out in the distance, looming over them. Suddenly, a pinprick of glowing yellow paleness high above in the sky began moving and extending at the edges, almost as if it were swirling. The tendril-like extensions suddenly became part of a larger, circular shimmering halo of light.
“That’s the moon,” said Elder Hawk. “I figured you were looking, but I wasn’t sure if moon cycles had been explained to you or if you’d even seen the moon in the Desolate Plains of the Atlantic. It appears brighter on random occasions. Rare moonlight gives us something small to see by without torches on nights like these. We never know how long it will last.”
A fat ray of orange shimmered down, cascading upon the upper edges of structures sticking out of the ground.
Orange seeped around the roofs, lowering around the bodies of the buildings. Nickel’s nose tickled. The skin on his face tickled too. He was feeling the barest bit of warmth.
“Where are my friends?” he asked. He stood straighter, extending his knees and he turned to his right to look at Elder Hawk. He felt his chest sear with an upward pressure. His head felt weighty and his temples pounded with energy. His limbs felt weak. He felt like he was going to collapse.
He gritted his teeth and bent to his knees. He tried inhaling and exhaling deeply. He placed his arms outwards and tensed his body. He tried looking straight ahead with wide open eyes, but the wind stung them and his eyelids instinctively closed shut. The energy inside of him was calmed a little bit, but his balance from the acht-chi was lost. His whole body felt like it would burst.
“Your friends won’t be harmed in our custody, unless they cause too much of a problem,” said Elder Hawk. “But even then, minimal injury is assured. I’m sure your limbs were yanked or twisted by our laborpeople if you had resisted their escort. They are safe in our custody. It’s good to care for your friends, but never quit the acht-chi to do that! Always keep your guard up.”
“Can I go back?” wheezed Nickel who was still struggling to return to a calm and physically secure state.
“Back to my hut?” inquired Elder Hawk.
“No,” said Nickel. He groaned. “Back to the acht-chi.”
Silence.
“No,” said Elder Hawk. “It seems that it’s too late. You had left too much of your posture. You lost too much of your energy.”
Nickel wheezed again and made a retching noise as he doubled over. His chest heaved and fell forward. He caught himself with his hands. He gasped.
“We’ll finish the tour some other time,” said Elder Hawk. “Let’s get you back to my hut. Your initiation rite has only just begun.”
Elder Hawk bent her quivering knees slowly, lowering herself.
“Jeez!” thought Nickel. If he, a teenage boy, couldn’t deal with the acht-chi, he would imagine that engaging in the acht-chi like this would be very physically and mentally taxing on an elderly woman.
Elder Hawk placed an arm under his belly. She pulled at him.
“Let’s go back,” she said. Nickel stood up, but remained hunched over. “Lean on me,” she said. “Just not too much.” Nickel moved closer to Elder Hawk. “Put your arm on my shoulder. Don’t press too hard.”
With Nickel holding onto Elder Hawk’s shoulder for support, he was guided back to Elder Hawk’s hut through the wind. When they got there, Nickel crashed onto the floor.
His entire body was frazzled. His heart hammered in his chest. His head pounded. The pulsing electricity was overwhelming his body.
“Get up,” said Elder Hawk. “The initiation rite requires you to pass into the world of Father Hawk.”
“I can’t move!” Nickel spoke muffled into the floor. “My body hurts.”
“It’s not your body that moves to Father Hawk. It’s your soul.”
Nickel closed his eyes.
“Oh,” he managed.
“Now,” started Elder Hawk. She huffed and puffed, no doubt wearing out from the acht-chi. She walked over to Nickel until her feet were right next to his face. “To get your soul moving, you have to move your body a little bit.” Nickel stayed still.
“Up! Up! Up!” said Elder Hawk. Nickel moved up on his knuckles. Elder Hawk walked around the stone basin and sat on her sack bag. Nickel crawled on his knuckles, dragging his feet.
When he got to the other side of the basin, he lay down flat and leaned against the stone surface in front of Elder Hawk who was slumped on her sack.
She sat cross-legged with her palms on her knees. She was frowning. Suddenly, she arched her back.
Nickel closed his eyes and let his head fall to the left onto the ground.
“Don’t sleep,” rasped Elder Hawk.
“But,” said Nickel, “isn’t that how I get into-.”
“-Not in an initiation rite,” interrupted Elder Hawk. “In that, I have to go with you.”
Nickel opened his eyes and looked up.
“Huh?” he said.
“Sit like me,” said Elder Hawk.
Nickel grunted and pushed himself up. The weight of overflowing energy threatened to pull him down. In quick, dragging strides, he moved his legs in front of him. His back pressed against the stone.
“Sit like me,” Elder Hawk repeated.
Nickel gritted his teeth and leaned forward to pull in his legs with his hands. He sat cross legged and arched his back straight. He placed his palms on his knees.
A low guttural hum came from Elder Hawk’s closed mouth. “Hrrrrhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm………………..”
It started soft, but became deeper and louder.
“HHHhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………………….”
Her eyes dimmed. Her eyelids moved closer to each other.
She began to sing in a low grating voice. The lyrics and the rhyming sent a jolt through Nickel for their resemblance to the words of the singing sorceress from his dream.
“Over the canyons
Soar the strong feathered hawks
To be hunted by loved ones
Here rests nests among rocks
With a batch of cracked eggs for the flock.”
“Your egg has been cracked,” said Elder Hawk, pausing her song and speaking in a normal tone. Her eyes were still dim and half-closed. “What is your name? What shall the flock call you?”
Nickel realized that he never told her his name.
“Nickel,” he said. “My name is Nickel.”
“Nickel emerges from the nest!” said Elder Hawk. “Into a role that will be tested.” Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes stretched, peering intently at Nickel.
“Nickel, you must know that some of the young men and women will look at you with disdain because you assume a role in the tribe and help from the tribe without having spent as much time in the tribe as them and having suffered in the Desolate Plains as much as them. Do you understand that, Nickel?”
“Yes,” said Nickel, “I do understand that.”
Elder Hawk straightened her head and her eyes softened. She continued to sing.
“Over the canyons
Soar the strong feathered hawks
To be hunted by loved ones
Here rests nests among rocks
With a batch of cracked eggs for the flock
A newborn emerges
With the tribe he shall run
And with fate he converges
Over the canyons
He shall soar with the hawks
Soar to see the light of the sun?”
“I don’t know,” thought Nickel. “Will I see the light of the sun again?” He wanted to ask the question out loud. However, most of his body and muscles were unmoving- almost deadened. His eyelids moved however; they moved closer to each other.
“We know not.”
The song was finished. Elder Hawk spoke in her normal tone:
“We know not.”
The frayed energy inside of Nickel came to a stand-still, weighing him down. He was sinking further and further into sleep and unconsciousness.
“We……….,” crooned Elder Hawk, “…..shall…….have…………………to…………..see!” Her eyes remained soft and her eyelids continued to move dully towards each other. The sight of her blurred away as Nickel’s eyes were closing.
“Close them,” said Elder Hawk. “Close your eyes.”
She softly hummed.
“Hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………………..”
Nickel’s eyes closed completely. The fervent energy from inside stopped coursing through his body, deadening fully.
“Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………”
G.R. Nanda 